Kangaroo Time

A few quick updates:
- Phoenix had some residuals (undigested milk) last night, so they dialed back her breastmilk just a wee bit and stopped fortifying it. Not a big deal, but it just means that weight gain will be a little bit harder.
- After a blood transfusion today, she was lookin' mighty pink. And I think she felt energized by it too, because she was being her little feisty self tonight and making everything difficult for Josh and Karen (the nurse). She kept pulling the oxygen tube out of her nose, she was squirming around while Josh changed her diaper, and then she promptly pooped in the clean one. She does what she wants.
- She got her last dose of antibiotic tonight ... which means they may not have to keep her IV!
- She has another echo tomorrow to check on the status of her PDA ... pray that it will be closed!

Tonight I got to have skin-to-skin contact with Phoenix, other wise known as kangaroo care. Josh and I have both been jonesin' for this treat since we first heard of it, and it was everything I expected. I got to feel her breaths, her squirms, her fragile skin, her fingernails ... everything.
Bonding was not really part of my birthing experience -- I went into the operating room pregnant, saw none of the operation, briefly saw my baby, and then left the room empty-handed. When we first saw Nixie in the NICU, she felt like a stranger. Where was the baby that kicked me whenever I wanted to sleep, who would do a little dance on Sunday mornings when she felt the music, who would boast a bout of hiccups at every ultrasound ... where was that baby? MY baby? It has been really hard to feel like a mom because I couldn't hold her, help her, feed her, or care for her in any way.

But tonight? I felt like a mom. Even the anxious, I don't know what-the-hell I am doing part of motherhood ... I felt it. It was magical to be that close to her again.
And tomorrow Josh gets to kangaroo her too!

Josh took this one of his ladies on the iPad

Love this face ... grumpy girl.

She is so tiny!