Pictures and Videos

The title says it all -- here is a snippet of our lives from the last couple of weeks:

Ready to fight

Crazy eyes

First try at the Bumbo!

Much love!

Weaning

Just wanted to clarify that Phoenix has NOT said goodbye to her oxygen tank ... yet.

Her oxygen needs have fluctuated a lot in the past few days -- sometimes she needs a full 1/4 liter (very rarely more), but then last night she hung out for 30 min with no supplemental oxygen at all. You should have seen Josh's face last night ... he was literally beaming. She seems to need the least oxygen when she has just eaten and when she is laying on her belly (especially if she is laying on one of us).

So PLEASE keep praying for continued healing for her lungs ... we can see the light at the end of the tunnel!

 We are still believing for her to be done with oxygen by the beginning of October, so leverage your prayers accordingly!

3 > 2

I love that there are three of us.

At one point today, the babe was freshly bathed and propped up on Josh's knees in bed, with me curled up under his arm. It doesn't get any better than that, people.

Sure, there are moments when I feel like our run as honeymooners was cut too short, but I love the way that God has orchestrated our crazy life. Instead of getting to love just one person with all that I am, I have two people in my life who have stolen my heart. The more, the merrier I say.

A couple bits of info for ya:
1. We aren't doing much breastfeeding these days. It continues to be a stressful experience for both of us, and it always ends with a bottle anyways. Am I sad that we can't figure it out? Yes. Do I feel guilty about it? No. Anything that makes life easier on both of us seems like a win to me, and I am going to keep pumping to make sure sister gets the good nutrition she needs.
I realized that I have the choice to cherish her birth and all it entails, or continue to grieve it. So I choose to love it ... NICU, hospital bills, bottle-feeding and all. Because it gave me my girl.
2. Phoenix's lungs are slowly getting better. When she first came home, she was needing at least 1/2 liter of oxygen per minute (often 3/4 or a full liter) -- now she spends the majority of her time on 1/4 liter and even some on 1/8. Holla!

Josh and I have been asking God to heal her lungs so that she can be off oxygen by the beginning of October ... would you join us in that specific prayer?

Well, Shoot.

Its been a rough evening at the Cash household.

Normally, getting the mail is one of my favorite parts of the day -- if you send me snail mail, I will love you forever!

Today, however, we got a nice little letter from our insurance about Phoenix's hospital stay.
And we are still reeling.

The number?
$179, 525.96

You know what I call that? BIRTH CONTROL.

So we freaked out. Then we realized that the insurance had covered exactly $0 -- that is not right, of course, so we will be calling them first thing on Monday morning to get that straightened out. They had processed Phoenix as "BG Emily Cash," which I guess our insurance didn't recognize as being the same person. So they are going to cover a good chunk of that.

But we are still pretty overwhelmed.
Just look at how Phoenix responded ...

In all seriousness though, here is how you can help:
1. PRAY! Pray that the insurance situation would get solved quickly and easily, pray for continued healing of her lungs (so we can stop paying for home oxygen), pray for us (especially Josh) to give the pressure/burden of her bills to the Lord, and pray that He would help us find a way to pay for it all!
2. I would love to help us make some money, but right now it isn't super feasible with her still on oxygen. So if you know of any work that I can do from home, PLEASE let me know!
3. God has so graciously used so many of you to help us with the bills we have already received (for my c-section, my two hospitals stays and her home oxygen care) -- but I obviously can't pretend that we don't need more help. If you feel prompted, we would be beyond grateful.

Thank you all for walking with us in this crazy season!

3 Month Birthday!

I know that today was full of sorrow and sober rememberance for many Americans, and it makes me just that much more thankful for my sweet girl and her miracle life that we celebrated today.

She is officially 3 months old, which (of course) warrants some more pictures!

Pulling her cannula out

Phoenix and her dragon --- mythical creature friends

You can check out her 2 month pictures HERE -- can you see a difference? Her legs are definitely chunkier!

And, to end your Sunday right, here is a little ditty that has been sung quite a bit around our house since Josh and I watched "Hello Dolly" the other day.

Three Things

Because the pictures are everyone's favorite part, we will start with that:

Fancy girl hated her bow

Going Out

Think they are related?

Bundled to survive the arctic air in our house

Nothing is really too new in these here parts ... just doing life with our sort-of-newborn.

I am really starting to grapple with the notion that my days consist of: feeding the baby, changing her diaper, cleaning her up, doing dishes, pumping, and doing some laundry. As I'm sure most of you know, I didn't quite expect to be living the stay-at-home-mom life quite yet, and I am still coming to terms with it. At the end of the day, all I can really say is that she will live to see another day ... that's it. Because somedays I don't even get a shower.
Case in point?
Today when Josh got home, he asked: "Did you take a shower?"(Cuz my hair looked wet)
My answer: "No. My hair is just that greasy."
Honestly, it's all a little unfulfilling at this point, seeing as she doesn't even really make eye contact with me.

So, I have decided to start prioritizing a few things that are unrelated to the baby -- I need to do a couple of things for my own sanity every day. Although nothing can really be unrealted to the baby anymore: my emotional, physical and spiritual health will have an impact on her.
I am quite the dreamer, so usually my goals are ... shall we say ... ambitious. But, seeing as showers are a triumph these days, I am trying to be a bit more realistic.
So, the three things I want to do every day are:
1. Meet with God
- I have a tendency to have way too many expectations for spending time with God, which usually just leaves me feeling like a failure. No grand expectations this time ... I may only whisper a desperate plea for energy, or sing a worship song while feeding the babe. Or I may spend an hour in incense-gilded prayer. Either way, I will meet with Him.
2. Use my mind.
- I have watched a lot of TV on Netflix the last few months ... like a lot. Like all of SYTYCD, all of Mad Men, all of the Bachelorette, quite a few documentaries, and two seasons of Friday Night Lights (so far). A girl's got to do something while pumping, or when nursing takes an hour. But it sure isn't workin' out my brain. So whether I complete a sudoku puzzle, write a poem, or read a challenging book, I will not let my mind become mush.
3. Take care of my body.
- I already know that I am not going to start training for a marathon anytime soon .. or ever. But I want to make an effort to do small things to take care of myself ... like go for a walk, do lunges around the kitchen, or eat carrots instead of pudding. And I want to take great care of my diabetes EVERY DAY.

Tomorrow marks day one ... anyone with me?

Photo Dump

We found the camera!
Actually, Josh found it. Story of my life: I lose things and Josh finds them. We are a good match.

So here are some picture from the last week or two, -- and, as the cherry on top of your cute-baby sundae, a video.

Lindsay and the babe

"TC" (Tiny Cash)

She loves being on her tummy

Milk Drunk

Stubborn girl only wanted her cannula partially in

Much love!