Girlfriend is having a rough go with breastfeeding these days, and it is sorely affecting my sanity.
She will cry with hunger, but then refuses to latch well (which I know she is capable of) and either flails around or falls asleep. Nursing her is at least a 40 min affair, after which she is often still hungry. Offering her a bottle after working to feed her for almost an hour tests the very limits of my emotional endurance, and I am beginning to assess whether all this frustration is worth it. What is supposed to create an emotional bond seems to do the opposite ... after giving her a bottle, I get to interact and snuggle with no ulterior motive. She is satiated, and I'm not disheartened.
I know cognitively that breastfeeding is the jam ... especially for preemies. It just doesn't feel so awesome these days.
But she even has rough feeds with the bottle. Josh's mom spent an hour trying to get her to finish the bottle with her medicines this morning (Josh and I were both too exhausted to even try). So maybe it's not just breastfeeding.
Moral of the story?
Eating is often a stressful event, for both the babe and me. And, since feeding time comes 'round every 3 hours or so, these are rough days in the Cash household. As a result, Phoenix has earned herself some colorful nicknames (but buckets of sweet ones too).
I so desperately want what is best for her, so we could use some prayer.
Pray that she exhibits some focus and intentionality during feeding, so that she gets enough to eat and I don't go crazy. And pray that God gives clarity on how to best approach her feeding --I don't want to breastfeed her just because that's what you are "supposed to do," but because it is best for us. If bottle-feeding is better, I just need the all-clear from the Lord on that.
Awkward prayer requests? Maybe. But sooo appreciated!