Closer and Closer

Medical Update:
- In case you didn't see the post on my Facebook yesterday, Phoenix got her feeding tube taken out! She was doing so well with her PO feedings that they decided to let her set the pace -- and turns out sister can eat really well. I actually heard one of the nurses tell Dr. Narayan that she has never seen a preemie nurse so well -- VICTORY! (In the pictures of her and Josh below, note the lack of orange tube in her mouth)
- Even with this big step, we still don't have a set take-home date. But we are gradually moving in that direction -- the hospital social worker came to introduce herself to me (since she will be helping us get set up with home oxygen) and tonight we are going to watch dvd's on infant CPR and baby care. Pray that Josh and I have extra patience in the coming days ... having the end in sight makes every day feel sooo long.

Last night, me and the nug had our first fight --- granted, she didn't know it. And I got frustrated with her for something so obviously out of her control. At her 5 pm feeding, she ate really well and then showed all her typical signs that she was full. So I stopped nursing her, and just let her snuggle on my chest. But about 20 min later, she started relentlessly scootching towards the food, so I let her nurse again for another 10 minutes. It really feels like I am starting to understand her subtle little cues, because she doesn't really cry (as Josh pointed out, she doesn't have to -- she gets regularly woken up for clean diapers and food). But then, when it came time for her 8 pm feeding, she was very distracted by all the effort it takes to fill one's diaper (another victory!). But her stupid schedule made me frustrated with her ... this was her chance to eat, and she just wouldn't focus. Even when she was done pooping, she still only nursed for a couple minutes before she became totally disinterested. Sister just wasn't hungry, since her last feeding had gone so long/late, but I felt all this pressure to make sure she ate well at exactly 8 pm. It took me a couple minutes of tears to realize that I wasn't mad at her ... I am just mad that we are trying to grow this organic relationship in the middle of a rigid environment. I cannot wait to get her home! I know that having her out of the NICU will be hard in its own way, but at least it will be normal new parent/new baby hard.

So, like I said ... pray for patience! And I am straight up exhausted -- from being at the hospital all the time, and then waking up every couple hours to pump in the middle of the night. I have been doing this not-more-than-two-hours-of-consecutive-sleep thing for seven weeks now, and it has certainly taken it's toll. And waking up in the middle of the night won't change when she comes home. So please, please, PLEASE pray for energy for Josh and me. We are both having to constantly fight the urge to be cranky pants.

Now, what you all have been waiting for ... pictures of Nixie from that last couple days!

Cute jammies from Lia!

Pretty Bird

Close-up

Look at the way Josh looks at her -- this picture kills me

Daddy Kisses

Nug lookin' at the camera

Josh being Josh

Side note: Our baby is going to have no idea what her real name is -- I never call her Phoenix, or even Nixie. Here is an assortment of her nicknames:
- Nugget
- The nug
- Nug Bug
- Pretty Bird
- Pretty Girl
- Bitty Bear
- Bitty
- Bitty Boo
- Boo Boo
That is potentially confusing for her -- good thing she is showing signs of being a pretty smart little babe.