Tuesday, July 5, 2011

Love from Dad

Medical Update:
- She is up to 24 cc's of breastmilk ... steadily increasing!
- They have decreased her oxygen flow a little bit more ... meaning her lungs are getting stronger, and she is capable of more on her own.

I am currently addicted to my c-shaped pregnancy pillow, which Josh hates. He blames the pillow for making our bed hot. And when we showed up today, Phoenix had a blanket in-between her legs and under her head, just like my pillow. Like mother, like daughter.
But we also found out today that my pillow has nothing to do with the heat factor at night ... Nixie's bed kept beeping because her temperature got too high while Josh was holding her. As a friend of mine said about her husband, Josh is a furnace.

But, as usual, it was wonderful to watch him with her. When she was settling in with him today, he told me that he sends out all his protective vibes so that she feels safe in his arms. And, based on the speed at which she passed out, I know she feels perfectly sheltered by his obvious love for her.

Over breakfast this morning, I reminded Josh of a specific time that he came over to my side of the office just to get to know me. In this particular instance, I was cutting a mailer in the workroom (a mindless and fairly tedious task). He came to "check his mailbox" or something, and ended up talking with me for a while. Like most people, I was a little taken aback by his radical honesty, and his general avoidance of meaningless chit-chat (he is really bad at small talk). But I was oh-so intrigued by this man because of his endlessly blue eyes and the tenderness they revealed. He may be kind of intense, but there was no fooling me ... his eyes were unmistakably kind. And it is so wonderful to see his tender heart beating for his little girl -- I hope that she inherits his ocean eyes, and that he teaches her how to grow in kindness.

When we were driving home from the hospital, we heard "Love Story" on the radio. We jammed out, and in the silence that followed, I said, "You know, Phoenix is going to fall in love one day."
"I know," he said, with just a little pain in his voice. "You know, I already had a father moment."
"What do you mean?"
Apparently, 12Stone showed a sentimental video about a dad and daughter (that including her wedding) on the morning of Father's day. And when Josh watched it by himself that morning to make sure it would work, he said that he couldn't help but cry. I love him, and the ways he loves me never ceases to blow my mind. I can't wait to watch Phoenix flourish in his love too!

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